Every mom deserves a medal

In honor of our neighbor who had a baby this morning and once said this to me I am taking a walk down memory lane...

Ada

"Every mom deserves a medal"

Our neighbor said this to me when I was commending her for being a FT student and mom of twin preschoolers.  This sentence has lingered with me and I think about it when I have that fleeting thought of being all eye-rolly about a family with one (or even two) out in public with both parents stressing about some little thing.  I need to remember how I felt in the beginning after Ada was born, I need to remember that all parents work their asses off just to show up.  Regardless of wether you carried the baby, adopted, nursed, whatever- being a mom effects you on a cellular level.  You are just connected to your child in a way different than any other person.

Thinking back to when I was pregnant with Ada and still had an idealistic view of what motherhood/ parenthood was all about.  I remember thinking I would never let my kids watch tv or have a pacifier- HA!  Our plan for Ada's birth was to have a natural hypnobirth experience at our local birthing center.  Ten days after my due date and after getting 4 acupuncture treatments and trying every suggestion I got on inducing labor naturally I finally realized this girl needed more coaxing so we went in for induction.  We were only in the hospital for 10 minutes when about every nurse and my ob was in the room.  They told us that our baby's heart rate was going down with the little contractions I was having (normal), but not recovering between contractions (not normal).  

We were told that there was no way they would induce me for fear that a strong contraction would be very bad for the baby.  My ob suggested our choices of doing a c-section with spinal and Tony in the room now, or trying to wait it out and possibly run the risk of an emergency c-section later under general anestesia.  It was a no brainer for us.  We did the section right away.  I had complete trust in my doctors and knew they had my wishes at heart and would only suggest the section if me or the baby really needed it.  It was scary for sure, but the right decision.

I was not prepared for this.

When Ada came out she was completely covered in meconium.  More proof she was under stress.  It felt like an eternity until she cried.  Tony went to the warming table with her and got his hands on her talked to her and cut the cord. They showed her to me then she and Tony went off to the nursery to wash her up.  I got sewn up and we all met back in the delivery room to nurse.

Welcome to the world Ada

I felt like a failure- crazy, right?  I had wanted so desperately to give birth in a certain way that I ended up feeling so disappointed I didn't have a natural birth rather than simply feeling ecstatic about my new baby.  Then I felt guilty about not being able to let go of my disappointment.  Emma was a scheduled section.  For so many reasons it was an easier experience, primarily because we knew what to expect.

Then there is the nursing.

Ada's first meal

I have been through many many emotions when it comes to feeding babies breastmilk.  My mom nursed me until I was 2 (thanks mom) so internally I always thought I would have a similar experience.  My goal was to get to a year with Ada.  For those who don't know me well let me just say that I am a strong willed woman- some might say stubborn.  I was going to get to a year, damn it!  From the get go we had trouble.  Ada couldn't latch.  My nipples were flat.  Had to pump.  Back to work.  Then came the nursing strike.  8 weeks long nursing strike.  This was it.  I had finally gotten used to the whole csection thing but I couldn't take the idea of not being able to feed my own baby.  I was devastated.  After 8 weeks of pumping 6-8 times a day and exclusively bottle feeding Ada started nursing for a couple minutes at a time.  Eventually she started nursing more and more and we got back on track.

I was not prepared for this!  Why don't women talk about this stuff?  I was lucky enough to have a bunch of awesome women in my life who breastfed their babies and could help me, but not all women do.  Also, it is so frustrating to read some of the blogs out there where women boast about their perfect experiences and don't have any tolerance or understanding for women out there who don't have the same experience.  I nursed Ada until she was 13 months.  When she turned 1, I stopped pumping at work and she had cow milk and I nursed her when we were home.  I am proud of that but I wish I hadn't been so hard on myself in the process.

Emma

Emma was tongue tied when she was born and had it corrected when she was 2 days old after the nursing consultant in the hospital noticed it- she was getting plenty of milk but tearing me to shreds in the process so thanks to that procedure and all purpose nipple cream we were back in business.  Emma had formula supplement from the time she was 5 months.  By the time she was 7 months she was at about half mama milk and half formula, with solid food too.  By 10 months I had stopped nursing.  I was sad, but not devastated.  The weaning process can be exhilarating.  I was so happy and relieved when Ada was done nursing- we had made it.  With Emma I was mostly disappointed because I knew why we had stopped and I just couldn't get to a point where I could get back on track.  I was bummed.  It was really a form of grieving when I stopped nursing Emma.  But  I've come a long way from the days of telling myself I was a horrible mother because I used a disposable diaper or let my kid have a binky.

There are a gazillion benefits to breastfeeding and I hope that every woman who would like to nurse does it and I hope they have support from their partner and friends.  The absolute best part of nursing your second kid is this...

Ada and I nursing our babies

I'm really not sure why we beat ourselves up.  But lots of moms I've talked to have done the same thing.  We set expectations for ourselves and if they're not met we blame ourselves.  As long as we're doing the best we can why can't we just be okay with that?  Why do we judge ourselves?  Why do we judge others who are also just doing the best they can do?  If we can figure a way to support each other it should make this whole parenting thing easier, right?

We have two amazing healthy smart girls and know they can do anything they set their minds to.  As Tony once said about Ada when she was a baby, "we just need to give her the opportunity to be awesome."  Well girls, go to it- and if you become moms someday I'll give you the medal myself.

Hawk in our yard

We have a hawk building a nest in the middle of a maple tree in our front yard.  It's pretty cool.  We saw her (I'm assuming it's a female) collecting sticks the other day from other trees and the ground and bringing them back to the nest.  It was amazing.  She didn't much like us there and a couple times did a fly by pretty close and it seemed like she was trying to scare us off.

We see her regularly and today we got home and she was in a tree next to the driveway making these squak/squeek sounds and I'm pretty sure she was eating something high on the branch.  A couple hours later she was still (or came back) on the same branch just sitting there.  I got the camera and snapped a picture.  If anyone can help identify her it would be a great help.  I'm not so good at that type of thing and I want to learn more about the species since Ada and I are enjoying watching her so much.

I'll try to get some better pictures, but the zoom on our camera (circa 2004) is pretty lousy.  There are definitely some stripes on the underside of the tail.

Thanks in advance for any birders reading who can help!!

Wrapping Paper inspired by Pinterest

We had some presents to wrap for a birthday party we're going to tomorrow so this afternoon the girls made some wrapping paper.  Last time we made paper we inked some bubble wrap and used it like a stamp.  I want Ada to make more of it because it was beautiful but it's all gone.  It was so nice outside I decided to try doing this outside so we could make a big strip across the driveway and paint out there.

I liked this idea on Pinterest so I diluted some paint and mixed it in baby food jars then poured a little in plastic eggs.  The idea was that Ada could "crack" the eggs and pour them on the paper.

 It wasn't a big hit, but she liked using the little roller and some brushes.  Emma mostly just trampled through paper and made footprints.  She had fun:)

We used up the paint on another strip of paper and flicked paint on it and drove a truck through to make tire tracks.

I think these might be the most beautiful presents ever wrapped :)

What a little park time can do

I know this warm beautiful, not too hot, not too many mosquito weather is going to flit away and I'm trying to enjoy it while it's here.  This morning the girls and I went to a local playground park and had a picnic with some friends.  The girls had an AWESOME time and I loved getting a little exercise.  The park is about 4 miles (according to Google on the bike trail), so I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

Here's a cute before and after.  The first one is right when we got to the park and the second is when we got home almost 3 hours later.  Naps were a requirement.  Even Ada said she wanted to get some sleep today!!  Love it.

School Vacation

Ada is off from school this week so our days are a bit different than usual.  The girls and I get to sleep in and hang together all day long.  Fun times.  The morning is my favorite time when we can just do whatever we want.  Here's a little taste.


The girls in their matching dresses hanging in the backyard.  Ada LOVES it when they match and when both of these dresses are clean she insists they both wear them :)

Ada painting.  She told me she wanted to draw her Papa.  You can see his brown eyes.  I'm not sure what the green and yellow were supposed to be, but she likes to draw the parts of the body individually.  The orange was the "blood" and she went on a bit of a monologue about how the blood is on the inside and goes all over the body.  

Emma painting like her big sister and loving it!

Sunday Funday

Today was a day filled with awesome family fun.  I didn't document much so I could focus on enjoying rather than taking pictures.

The whole family slept in- Tony and I woke up in our bed, because we woke up NOT because someone else came in...and it was 9:30!  I want to say for the record that this is the latest Ada has ever slept in.  We had a loungy nice breakfast all together.  We played and were silly.  We went on a nice bike ride (girls in the trailer) to a park a couple miles from our house.  We had lunch and naps (well, Ada didn't but it was totally worth it to sleep in).  We went to a dinosaur exhibit at the nature center near us to "show papa the 'ceratops" that we saw last week.  Went for a walk around the nature center and saw some ducks.  The two males were putting on quite a display to woo the female and Emma was keen to say hello.

Everyone was happy.  It was a good day.  Came home for dinner.  Burgers on the grill...for 2 minutes until we ran out of propane and moved it inside, but we all rolled with it.  After dinner we went outside and made a fire just for fun.

Evidence of the very good day you ask?

Sitting by the fire watching papa burn stuff.  Moments later Ada moved her chair next to Emma and the girls held hands.  Sorry, but the battery ran out on the camera.  Trust me it was awesome.  Love these people.

Robin Work

I had seen this idea on Pinterest a while back and decided it would make a nice spring work.  I cut a piece from our basement carpet scraps and put it in a tray with a small "nest" and some pieces of brown yarn (worms).  We've been noticing all the robins around our yard and Ada can identify them from other birds so I printed off a few google images to reinforce her knowledge- and she loves to "teach" her sister, so it was perfect.  For the record, this is more of a loose interpretation of Montessori, but it works for us.  I love the pictures of the chicks and the eggs.

Sorry- couldn't get this one to rotate.

She pretends she is the mama bird delivering worms to her baby chicks.  We extended this to pretend that we were mama and baby birds.  I got to be the mama, then I was the baby and she would fly around the living room and bring back worms for me.  The best was when Emma joined in but instead of making her beak with her hands over her mouth, she made little clasping hands over her little eyes.  Too cute!  It was a fun time.

I would describe my self as someone who is striving to have a simple, prepared environment for the girls.  But we do not have one of those neat little organized spaces like you will see on some of the Montessori or Waldorf blogs.  But I try.  Another thing that I saw at Ada's school that I loved was the mats used to do work on.  It's a nice visual cue to others that you are doing work, it's contained and I just like it.  The girls do too.  We have one of those little rag rugs that we use (from back in the day of our Maynard house) and a beautiful quilt that was made by a dear Aunt when Ada was born.  They work perfectly.  Emma will pull out a mat and I help her get it layed out.  Sometimes she works just like Ada and does her work, puts it back on the tray and shelf.  Sometimes I help her put it away.  I figure it's all good practice for school.

Here's the beauty in action...

This particular time the mats stopped a serious session of "NO EMMA, THIS IS MY WORK" I sometimes let them work it out on their own.  Sometimes I intervene, and this time I simply put out the other mat and put the stacking blocks on top.  Then, instant quiet and play.  LOVE!