Daughters

Warning: After the photo there is a long essay.  If you're not in the mood to read a rant, I suggest you just look at the cuteness and come back next post. :)

The fact that I have daughters is a huge gift.  I always thought I wanted sons, but once we had Ada I was so happy that I was hoping and wishing for another girl when I found out I was pregnant again.  In fact, the conversation I had with my OB as I was sitting on the table getting my spinal before having Emma was her asking me "do you think it's a girl or a boy?"  to which I replied, "I wish I didn't feel this way, but I really hope it's a girl but I think it's going to be a boy."  Everyone thought Emma was going to be a boy.  When she was born it was AMAZING. 

First off, it was finally the joyous birth experience we had heard of, unlike the trauma of Ada's birth AND I was so relieved to have another daughter.  I kept picturing Ada with a sister.  Imagining them growing up together and taking care of one another (they're only 22 mo apart), and just having each other.  They are proving to be such great friends already.  There are a million little moments: glances, kisses, touches, shares, kind words that happen every day between them and I know that the greatest gift we could have ever given either of them as parents is each other.

But having daughters is not without worry.

A phrase I sometimes can be heard saying is, "you get to make decisions for your own body".  As the girls are 1 and 3, this applies to things like no pushing/ pulling/ taking things etc. but really I hope to be setting the groundwork for a lifetime of them making good choices when it comes to their bodies.  I realize this sounds silly since they are so young, but that's me- overthink it. Tony and I of course have to override this on occasion, like when Ada wants to wear her ballerina outside when it's 10degrees, but you get the picture.  

With all that's in the news (and I barely pay attention) right now about women's rights, I can't help think what the country will be like when they are older- especially in their teens, twenties and thirties when their reproductive lives will be of great import.  I hope they will have every right to make any decision they see fit with regards to their reproductive health.  I hope they and they alone (with input from their partner) will be able to make that choice.

I just read an article that a friend of a friend had posted on Facebook that scared the pants off me.  Kansas to Pregnant Women: "A Little Lie from Your Doctor Won't Hurt You"
It is so hard to believe that a doctor would deliberately keep information from their patient.  It is even more difficult to believe that people- yes, men and women will stand for this being legal. 

Reading about Arizona passing a law to allow employers (this is just the exempted religious employers) to actually fire women who are using birth control for "sexual" reasons, i.e. not for acne control or pcos, etc.  This means if a woman is taking the pill she would need to submit her medical records to her employer in order to keep her job.  I'm a natural born skeptic, so I was reading a little summary about the law.  Turns out lots of states have a "Contraceptive Equality Law" that requires employers to cover birth control if they cover prescriptions.  And many states give an exemption to religious employers.  I can completely understand that but what I don't agree with or even understand is how it's alright for a woman to have to show her medical records to her employer in order to get a hormone treatment.  My guess is most of the women working for these organizations share the beliefs regarding bc, and if not they can certainly go to another provider like Planned Parenthood.  The problem is being at risk for getting fired (there is no job protection in AZ- at will) for being on hormonal birth control is taking things too far. 

So I do worry.  I worry that my girls will have to fight for things that I have been able to basically take for granted my whole life.  I worry that we could take a step backwards in this country when it comes to women's health and that my girls will have to pay for it.