Half Birthdays

I very much enjoy celebrating half birthdays.  Especially since the girls are so young and waiting a whole year to have a birthday can seem like forever it's nice to break it up...and it's an excuse to eat cake!  We haven't hit every one, but for Emma's 2 1/2 birthday Tony happened to be home and it was going to work out that we could celebrate together.  Nothing major, just us, food that Emma likes for dinner and cake for dessert (we almost never have dessert, so that alone is a big treat).

After dinner we sang "Happy half birthday to you..." and she blew out her candle and we enjoyed some cake.  Her face says it all.  Love you Emma!

When sisters are quiet

Now that Emma is older and the girls are starting to play together more interactively I am able to sneak away and put laundry away, or run out to do chicken chores, or cook dinner without needing to worry about their entertainment.  They have been enjoying playing together more especially now that Emma likes to use her imagination and also likes playing the "mommy, daddy, baby pretend-type games" and all the variations.  That said, I am always listening for things like speaking kindly to each other, having patience, bumps and thumps, and most terrifyingly...silence.

All parents will tell you that kids tend to be at their sneakiest when things fall quiet and on this day I was in one of the bedrooms putting laundry away when suddenly I heard no more sounds.  Turns out there were sounds just too faint for me to hear.  When I emerged to take a look at what was going on I found this adorable little scene.  Tony loved Richard Scarry books when he was little and this is his original one that was passed down to us.  It is old and falling apart so we keep it on a high shelf that Ada can reach but Emma cannot since Ada also loves it and will be careful with it, but Emma has a destructive streak in her.

Ada was carefully pointing to each drawing and asking Emma what each thing was, giving her encouragement when she got it right or gently saying things like, "good guess, but actually that's a bubble, etc."  Emma was enthralled   I was able to grab the camera and grab a couple of shots before they realized I was there and it messed everything up.

I know that no matter what the best and greatest thing I could ever give these girls is her sister.  I am so happy they have one another.

Reflections on being a mom (Mother's Day a little late)

Since there are many more articles out there that say what I would say about motherhood in a more eloquent way I am not going to write much.  Perhaps my favorite read recently was by Lea Grover in her Huff Post Parents article, "Dear Less-Than-Perfect Mom".  It's a good quick read and she talks about all the things we do that are not so glamorous and that make us real and human and beautiful.  What I love is that she highlights the things we do that many of us feel guilty about or beat ourselves up about and spins them to show that those are the things that make us better moms.  My favorite quote from the article and something I need to remember on the bad days, "Congratulations, Best Mom in the World.  You're not perfect."  Accepting and even embracing the imperfections is something I struggle with but in the spirit of wanting my kids to embrace the things that make them special and unique and "imperfect" I will try harder.

I had wanted to write something before Mother's Day and post on Sunday, but things got away from me last week and alas, here I am.  Tony was off (which was really the best gift I could ask for) and we had a nice family weekend complete with us each getting to spend some one-on-one time with each girl and have a wonderful Mother's Day BBQ with some friends.

I did want to share the awesome Mother's Day gifts we had made for the grandmother's (and for Mama) by a silhouette artist who came to town a few weeks ago.  The girls have a silhouette of me from when I was 2 hanging on their wall and I've been wanting to get one done of the girls for over a year so this was perfect- I even pinned a DIY silhouette on Pinterest but I doubt I ever would have gotten to it!  I think they came out great- you be the judge.

If you remember Emma's Eric Carle Birthday Party, you will remember that we made a wall collage with clear contact paper.  We saved it and when Ada and I went looking for something to wrap these with she picked this out and it was absolutely perfect!  I wanted you to see also how great her handwriting is getting.  I wrote the message and she wrote her and Emma's names and made a heart.  Just love her.

May 2, 2013

I woke up to the sound of my phone's text alert letting me know that school was cancelled today.  For snow.  I knew the forecast and expected a few inches at most, not the 13+ that we actually got.  It was that super heavy snow that breaks all sorts of branches and knocks out the power.  But it was pretty.

Last night I made sure to mention to the girls that we would probably be waking up to snow today so they wouldn't be surprised.  Ada's reaction when she actually laid eyes on the day were, "No, it's not winter anymore, it's spring!  The robins are here and it's warm, not cold!  I'm moving to Florida forever!"  Did I mention she's 4?

Well, after I went out and knocked some of the snow off the tree branches that hadn't already snapped, Ada and I went out to play and do another hen check/ egg check and took a few pictures of the record breaking snowfall while Emma napped.

Our backyard.

You can see the broken limbs and the depth of the snow in relation to the cozy coupe.

I feel bad for the chickens- they do not like the snow.  They are ready for these Minnesota shenanigans to be over.

Since it had been in the 70s for a few days and we were wearing shorts and flip flops, we put the water barrel back up...apparently a bit too soon!

Ada helped me shovel this pathway to the garage but mostly she enjoyed playing jumping, falling, and eating the snow.

Me and my Ada boo- she wanted to make a silly face.

Trying to find my inner orange rhino

This pregnancy has been unlike the others so far.  The most different thing is that I'm not working.  I didn't have to try to keep it a secret in the beginning and I don't carry guilt about what slack my coworkers will be picking up for me while on leave.  Overall I have felt very peaceful during this pregnancy and lately I've been making an effort to be a better/ less stressed/ less yell-y mom to the girls.

I was inspired by an article that popped up on my Pinterest feed by the Orange Rhino.  The article is "10 Things I learned when I stopped yelling at my kids" and it resonated with me.  I do yell and I hate it.  I loose my temper, get frustrated, forget that they are little people and expect way too much from them.  Then I feel like a total failure afterwords.  I decided to take a good look at my mothering and noticed I sometimes don't "yell" per say but may just give a look or use words of disappointment that really aren't appropriate.  I do want to be a better mom so I'm trying to pay attention to what I do and decide if/how I want to change.

Luckily I have some friends who are in a similar (or in some cases the same) boat as me and were excited when I told them about this so we've all been trying to do things to minimize our yelling.  I went a solid 2 days before I got tired and reverted to my old tactics.  Here's the cold hard truth about parenting- it's just day after day of a gazillion little decisions that turn each day into what it is.  Sometimes you make a good decision...sometimes not so good.  Here's an example:

One night I knew Tony would be getting home "early" so I decided to keep Ada awake enough to see him before she went to bed.  I made this decision even though I knew she was tired from a long day and  would have to be at school early the next day for viola lessons.  To see them hang for a few minutes before bed was totally worth it...until the next morning.  My alarm went off at 6:45 like it always does on Thursdays so we can make it to viola on time (ish) and the girls were still sleeping.  I got up, made breakfast and packed it into car-ready containers because we prioritize getting dressed, etc and if we run out of time we can always eat in the car.  Then I hopped in the shower.  The girls woke up about 7:30 and I made the decision not to rush since no one likes that feeling.  I let them get dressed like normal and by about 8:05 (lesson is from 8:00-8:30) we were ready to go.  Just before we left I told Ada that it was Thursday and that we would be skipping viola today but we may be able to go to the Friday lesson if we ask her teacher.  She fell apart.  I had made  a tactical error despite my thinking I was making good decisions in the best interest of everyone I had misjudged.  Herein lies the difficulty of being the decision maker for many different personalities all at once.  Emma throws fits if you try to rush her.  When I'm rushed I tend to get snippy and stressed.  Ada doesn't like to be surprised and maybe deep down I knew she would put up a fight if I had told her earlier so I omitted it from our morning until it was already too late.  I then gave Ada the choice if she wanted to try to go late to the lesson or just go tomorrow.  She of course chose going today.  We still needed shoes and coats and to open up the chickens for the day so the result was us trying to rush anyhow and not getting there until 8:25.  I decided to go with Ada and ask her teacher if we could come to the Friday lesson, which was of course okay.  She was still a bit bummed when I dropped her at her classroom and I left feeling like a terrible mother.

So if you followed that story you will see (as my very wise husband pointed out to me) that I was beating myself up about my 4 year old being upset that she missed her viola lesson.  Perspective.  I had none.  I get so tied up in our little bubble and try so hard to make people happy or do what I think I should that sometimes I forget the big picture.  And this is a good thing to teach to the little ones I suppose.  Because in the end there will be disappointments in life sometimes big ones and I want these kids to be resilient and able to roll with it.

I brought up that story because I have been paying attention to my triggers lately and being stressed is certainly one of them.  If I am feeling stressed in my life I have more of a tendency to yell or behave in a negative way toward the girls.  This needs to change.  I want to change how I express myself to them so they can mirror what they see/ feel to others.

But, all that said.  At the end of the day I really just wanted a cocktail...but not for a few more months;)

Love that dirty water...

I am from Massachusetts.  Not Boston proper mind you, but the suburbs.  I grew up thinking Boston was the be all end all of cities.  That it was the place to go to do anything super fun.  My folks were good about bringing me in to do things like First Night on New Years, free concerts in government center, Faneuil Hall, Red Sox games, Franklin Park Zoo, North End treats, tall ship tours, and coolest of all we got to ride in on the T.

One of my fondest childhood memories is watching the Boston Marathon.  "Marathon Monday" takes place on Patriots Day which is a state holiday in Massachusetts so we always had the day off from school and there were loads of people out and celebrating all over Eastern Mass.  We would usually watch from Newton Lower Falls which is a town just outside the city.  Now that we live in Minnesota I have often thought about taking the girls for a vacation and cheering on the tremendous athletes.  There is an energy on the day of the marathon unlike any other- everyone feels a camaraderie and similar to the Olympics all are rooting for human spirit and athleticism.  The fact that this tragedy struck on this day of all days feels especially painful.  The fact that a child was killed hits my gut and makes me furious and sad at the same time.

My tendency when these things happen is to end up in a dark place in my mind and being pregnant made me jump to that place even more quickly.  It might sound cheesy but the little messages of hope that people have put up on social media have been helpful.  Remembering to see the good.  To focus on the good in people.  To be hopeful.  These are important messages and that is what I want my children to remember in times of crisis.  Here are a couple of my favorites.

So this morning when we woke up and the girls were going to stay home again with a case of conjunctivitis I decided we needed to do something positive so I didn't make myself crazy.  I was happy to have a day with them even in their cranky eye-drop-needing condition.  I showed Ada an image of the "B" on my computer and she knew it was for "Red Sox".  I told her it was a symbol for Boston and that the people who live in Boston had a bad day yesterday and needed extra love. We decided to do a big painting project for our front window and I sketched out the "B" then Ada and I painted it while Emma had her own "B" to paint since she's not one to stay in the lines- really on any level.

So this was our art project today.

Emma mostly painted herself...then later her sister leading us directly into the shower after this activity.

I folded and drew half a heart and Ada cut the hearts out beautifully.

All while Emma coated herself in applesauce.

Then Ada and I hung our work on the front window.  Jim watched.

Many, many people have already written about this tragic day.  I couldn't just carry on with posts about stuff without recognizing this event.  It should also be said that all the athletes who competed yesterday are amazing individuals and my hope is that runners will still want to compete in Boston and we don't let this taint the spirit of the event.  I would still like to bring the girls to watch and cheer, and maybe they will even want to run it someday.

In honor of "Spring"

I'm a big fan of winter but I'm ready to look forward...just need Mother Nature to get on board.  We've still got snow on the ground and in the forecast but to celebrate the actual vernal equinox we talked about all the wonderful things that will happen around us so we'll know Spring is here and decorated eggs to celebrate new life.

I've been saving Zebra's eggs for a week since she lays a very pale brown egg that I thought would be easier to dye.  We only boiled and dyed 6 eggs since there are only 2 family members who like hard boiled eggs.  It was a quick after nap activity and the girls had fun with it.

They each picked a color and I picked blue (Ada purple, Emma red) then I set up some bowls and Ada helped me pour water vinegar and food coloring while Emma ate her snack.  Perhaps my favorite part of this activity was watching the interaction as Emma tried to get her apron on then asked Ada for help and then Ada tied it for her.  So darn cute- these girls just love each other!

Emma was a bit more aggressive putting her egg into the bowl and one of the eggs was partially cracked before we were done, but oh well!

And the finished eggs are beautiful!  Ada added a drop of blue coloring to one when it was done and she decided it was a "beautiful tree".